Do You Hyper-Parent Over-Scheduled Kids?

Christmas is coming faster than it seems like it should. It seems like it wasn't that long ago that we just did all the holiday gift giving, overeating, and hemorrhaging money!

I don't like to buy gifts for kids that they tire of quickly. I like to find gifts that I know they'll use their imaginations for. It is good for children to be creative and use their imaginations instead of having every hour of every day scheduled for them running here and there in my opinion (let's face it, it's not good for the parents either). Kids are so over-scheduled! I certainly don't want to hyper-parent 24/7 either.

I found these Playmobil Toys that I think give kids the opportunity to create their own little stories while playing, which is what we had to do as kids. Give the kids some free time to use their imaginations and let them just be kids. That's my opinion.

Helping Young Children Learn Skills

Puzzles are a good way to teach children. They help with spatial skills, hand-eye coordination, and logic/thinking skills. Puzzles make a great gift for young children as young as one to start working on all of these things. I found these puzzle stools that would help a child learn these skills plus their name.

Having a child with motor apraxia, both gross and fine motor skills were delayed. I watched how difficult it was for my son to learn to manipulate small objects with his fingers. Puzzle pieces were a great way to help him and was something his occupational therapist worked with him on.

Out-of-Wedlock Birth Rates Rise

Almost four in ten children (40%) were born out of wedlock according to a NY Times article this year. You're probably thinking it is due to teen pregnancies but it's not. Their numbers actually went down for teens (23% of the numbers). It went up for women in their 20's (60% of the numbers). Our family is no different. My two stepchildren were both born out-of-wedlock. We have six children total so that is about 33% for our family.

I can't imagine all of these are "oopsies". So, why are women choosing to have children and putting off buying bridesmaid gifts and making it legal?

Is marriage becoming irrelevant for a lot of couples who choose to live together instead? Is the high rate of divorce putting people off? Is the fact that we are living longer, and people don't want to spend the rest of their lives with the same person anymore? Marriage isn't the financial necessity it once seemed to be now that women have good careers as well. So, is it becoming irrelevant?

To me, my vows are very relevant. If I'd not found a husband by a certain age and I was financially sound, I likely would have gone ahead and had a child anyway (and added to the statistic) but my goal was always to find somebody I wanted to spend the rest of my life with and raise children with together. Everything I do, every decision we make together, is done with that unity in mind. I think it is important that my children have two parents who love each other.

Don't Let Hormones Rule You After Childbirth

New moms fall into the "mom hair" thing pretty quickly I think. Within one week of having my first child, I had all my hair chopped off. I don't know if it was hormonal or just easier. I did it again with my second child. I don't look good in short hair but I really think hormones took over.

You have this soft belly left over right after your pregnancy and child's birth, and you're feeling a little dumpy. What better way than to make a change like a haircut and why not make it easier while we're at it since the kids are going to keep us so busy and go short? That was my thought-pattern each time. My mistake.

I learned my lesson after that. I made my husband promise that he'd remind me after the births of the rest of our kids not to cut my hair short and why. He did and it kept me from doing anything drastic to my hair.

I need to concentrate on finding a good salon franchise for my children's hair instead of letting hormones take over for me (because I have also been doing the "mom thing" and cutting their hair myself the last couple of years most of the time) and it's not a good thing (for them). My hormones are out of whack because of my thyroid disease so I'm still up and down hormonally even though I'm not pregnant.

Does Breastfeeding Cause Loss of Sensation?

I was watching Rachael Ray last week (a re-run) and she had Dr. Lisa Masterson on there answering women's questions. Dr. Masterson is on the show, The Doctors on CBS. She is one of four in lab coats on the show and Dr. Masterson is the only female out of the four doctors.

There was one question new mothers might be interested in so I wrote it down so I could post it here. One new mom, who had just finished breastfeeding, had no sensation left in her nipples for intimacy. It just didn't feel good to her anymore whereas it had before nursing. She wanted to know if it was normal.

Dr. Masterson says that the nipples become callused from all the gnawing and suckling that babies do and that it IS normal. She said that sensation would come back. I didn't have this problem myself after nursing for 26 months but if you have this problem, or are worried about it once breastfeeding is finished, I hope this helps!

Discipline

Disciplining as a new parent can be tough. Am I being too strict? Not strict enough? Am I raising a spoiled child? Am I breaking their spirit? Am I providing proper consistency and structure? Do I discipline or pick my battles?

How do you know when how you parent is going to raise responsible, loving children into responsible, loving adults? That's my goal. Do I have to wait until they are adults to see if what I am doing is going to work or do I have some indication that it is now?

As a parent, you are going to make mistakes. When I make a mistake, I apologize to my children and move on (just as I expect them to apologize when they need to). I expect basic manners and considerations from them. I don't think I ask too much. Sometimes I wonder if I am asking enough of them. I believe parents need to have expectations for their children and I don't think enough parents do anymore. If I don't have expectations for them, how will they learn to have expectations for themselves?

Tonight I was reading about a family constitution written by a man named Scott Gale who created it to help with his family issues. It was very interesting reading.

Urge to Have Baby

We've decided, after four of our own children and my two stepchildren, that we have finished adding to our family. Even though I feel the urge every so often to have another child, the desire to be done with around the clock "baby" seems slightly stronger - enough to where I am not devastated over not having another child. Now when I hold them, I enjoy returning them to their mommies when they start crying. That's a great sign that I am over the major urge to keep reproducing. Considering I have felt that urge since my teens (seriously!), it's been a long time coming. I have four beautiful kids of my own and the maternal bond is strong and we couldn't be happier.

I have a sister due to have her second child soon. It's been 15 years since she had her last child so it will truly be starting over with sleepless nights, around the clock feedings, and diapers. She's had her baby shower already and I'm sure received many baby gift baskets full of necessities for her future second son.

Potty Training

We are right in the middle of potty training our youngest child. I will be BEYOND happy to finally be rid of pull-ups forever. Out of all the kids I've potty trained, she has definitely been the most stubborn. Might have something to do with the fact that she's the baby of the large family (and spoiled by all).

She's resisted potty training for quite awhile but as of yesterday, she's come on board and is doing her best. We are going to use rewards (toys and our time as rewards). I am looking at toys from the Only hearts club. She also has one special toy that she's picked out herself that will be the "finale" gift when she's potty trained. Spending time doing something special together will be another reward.

I am hopeful that this attempt of hers will be it! I'd love to have potty training behind us.

The BEST Diaper Rash Treatment EVER!

I have four children and two stepchildren. I've been down the road of painful diaper rashes many times. Sometimes it is raw and open and sometimes it is red, like a burn.

A couple of months ago, my youngest had a diaper rash that I could not get rid of. I tried over-the-counter creams. I tried a prescription cream from the doctor. It did no good and I had a child crying all the time, in pain. When I took her back to her pediatrician, he told me of a great alternative that is used at the children's hospitals.

He said to buy Aquaphor and Maalox, mix some together and use that. You're probably wondering, "Huh? Maalox?" He said it would neutralize any acid causing that burn on her skin.

So I tried it and was very surprised to see the painful rash disappear on my daughter's skin. How wonderful!

Well, this last week after a bout of a stomach bug, that bright red, painful rash was back and it was itchy on top of it. I thought I'd substitute Vaseline for Aquaphor (they seemed similar and it was less expensive). It didn't work. After a couple days of sleepless nights and frequent baths to rinse off, I went and bought the Aquaphor. Because everything seemed to burn her very sensitive skin this time around, I thought I'd leave the Maalox out at first to see how just the Aquaphor would do. After one application (laid a towel on the couch, applied it and left her bottom clothes-free and diaper-free to watch her favorite show while it did its work), my daughter was moving around and able to go to the bathroom pain-free. After two applications, you could barely see any redness at all.

What a huge difference. She actually slept through the night last night. After the last three nights of middle of the night crying and middle of the night baths to rinse off, it was a relief (for both of us).