Trying to Conceive

I dreamed from the time I was in high school of having children. I waited six years beyond high school, until I'd met the man I wanted to be a father to my children, to try to conceive. I was healthy, a good age, and financially able. I was ready. My body wasn't.

We had a hard time conceiving. When other women around me seemed to get pregnant so easily, it was hard to see when I spent month after month in tears wanting a baby so badly. I resented my periods when they came. They were a sign that my body had failed again. I'd failed again. Taking 1-1/2 years to get pregnant took its toll emotionally.

I believe that if I'd known then what I know now, we would not have had any problem conceiving. I had two problems going on that I believe affected my ability to conceive several of my children. The first was an intense amount of stress we were both under from an outside source plus the heartache month after month of not getting pregnant was stressful in itself. I believe that played a part in the difficulty we had conceiving our first two children. My idea of romantically conceiving a child flowing into an easy pregnancy and natural birth was a dream. What's so romantic about tears month after month when my period would come and I'd be left feeling like I'd failed again?

Not only were we under a lot of stress, I developed thyroid disease eight years ago. My thyroid hormones were not at optimal levels and my periods were far apart and very heavy. How could I count days when my cycles were so irregular? Nobody once thought during that time that it may be my thyroid hampering my ability to get pregnant even though it was known I had thyroid disease.

With TSH levels around 3 - 5, my doctors considered that "normal" but normal doesn't necessarily mean optimized. The range is broad and there is no one right number for the entire population. Some doctors have found that when you bring the TSH levels to the lower levels of the 'normal' range (ex: 1, 2), and there are natural thyroid medications that can do this if you need them, women who've failed to conceive previously do so. Since optimizing my hormone levels for my thyroid, bringing my TSH level to the lower range, my periods are regular and normal. That makes ovulation more easily determined if I wanted to try to conceive again.

I wish I'd had more knowledge about optimized thyroid hormone levels for all those years we spent trying to conceive. If you are having a hard time conceiving, check your thyroid hormone levels and educate yourself on optimal levels within the normal range. Get copies of your labs and don't rely on being told they are "normal" - look at them yourself and see where you fall within the normal range.

This is my beautiful baby girl who took 18 months to conceive. She was worth all the tears but I sure wouldn't have minded it being a little easier!